Tonight The Bachelor premiered on ABC. Eric thought Ben, the titular bachelor, looked like the Italian Michael Cera. Eric later remarked that he should have said "Guido Michael Cera" (GMC). The peperoni on the pizza pie that is The Bachelor is comprised of a handful of radiant Gorgons competing for GMC's attention -- Gorgons whose futures hold equal parts feigned affection and looming, all consuming regret. One in particular posed this insightful question to her would be non-fiance: "What two things is Kentucky best known for?" Surprisingly, neither bourbon nor VD were counted among the correct answers.
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